life · Live to LOVE

NEAR but FAR

Today, Peter talks about his excitement on his birthday. Too excited not realizing that it will be in January and yet we are still in the first week of June. He said, “Daddy, I am excited about my birthday because you promised me Nerf gun and skateboard as a gift. But, I am sad for you because your daddy is far, he is in the Philippines, he cannot be with you on your birthday”.

I left home 17 years ago to work overseas bringing with me the dream of becoming big someday. So much to dream about without thinking of what I left behind. A reckless move without knowing that it will dramatically change my life .  Sudden change of environment, culture, climate, missing a lot of things that I got used to but the biggest adjustment is the absence of my family and the so many occasions that we used to celebrate together. I missed a lot of important occasions like the 50th wedding anniversary of my parents and they missed my own wedding as well.

My story is not different from any other story of an OFW but what really made an impact on me is how I became closer to my father despite the distance between us. Yes, my father and I have a distant relationship even before I left home. We never talked so much as what father and son usually do maybe because he is just too busy trying to find ways to make ends meet. At some point in our relationship, I even felt that he is not an important part of my life. But things slowly changed when I felt that years are passing by and need to mend a missing link between us.

What should I do? What are the steps to take? Who should I turn to, to give me advice on how to fix it? Until I found my Father in heaven who thought me how to express real love even from the distance.  It is not how much money or gifts you sent. It is not also the house you built for them. It is not only the kind words you expressed. It is not only the surprises you planned for. It is not only the messages you sent and the prayers made. You know what dramatically changed our relationship? It is when I told him I LOVE HIM. It took a while and lots of courage from my part to say these words because I am not used to saying it to him or I may say to anyone. I might not able to say it, or it might not happen if God did not intervene by separating us. We we’re near then and yet so far, but now we are far from each but close at heart.

Today, my dream of becoming big is still a dream yet becoming closer to my father is the fulfillment of everything. Still, I am hoping that we will be together physically to hug him while saying the words I LOVE YOU just like what my sons are doing to me. I want him to experience the joy I felt each time they say I love you with a hug.

I made this post 2 years ago, it is almost a year and half now that my father died of a heart failure.. The last memory I have with him is a conversation while on his hospital bed through video call. So memorable because it was the first time I saw my father shed a tear of joy. A joy knowing he is loved and able to express love back. It was also the first time I felt that he really love me despite my shortcomings. A kind of feeling like what Jesus has done for us despite our sins. Yes, my hope of hugging him, kissing him while he’s still alive never came true.  We are still both near and far but I am pretty sure we’ll see each other again in time.

If you have your chance of togetherness, please say the words “I LOVE YOU” , it will bring happy memories in your JOURNEY OF LIFE.

Spread the words and you will feel that GOD is really ALIVE…

In loving memory of my Father NOVENO Born July 30, 1939, Died July 06, 2018.

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