HOW TO IMPROVE COUPLES’ RELATIONSHIP
(Not an expert’s opinion but from the perspective of someone who enjoys being a husband.)
Positive emotions like feeling happy, loving, confident, inspired, cheerful, interested, grateful are by-products of having a good relationship with your spouse, family members, co-workers, community members, neighbors and even to your household pets. Having positive emotions gives you a positive outlook on life.
In this article, I would like to share with you my perspective on how to improve the relationship with our spouses. I selectively chose to discuss it first because it stimulates my brain more over the others. Why?, because it is the most interesting and challenging topic ever if you know what I mean :).
Ever since you got married or took your relationship to another level by living together in one roof, your crazy world became crazier. Suddenly you became like a baby again, learning new things but this time you are not the only big baby but with someone, you thought you totally knew. You thought its gonna be easy like learning ABC and 123 but the truth is, it is just like attending class in high school physics, so complicated and confusing.
What are the areas in the couples’ relationship and how can you improve it?
Communication is about speaking, listening, and understanding. It is simply, a person talking while the other listens or vise Versa. To a married couple sometimes the scenario is different, both are speaking at the same time and no one wants to listen. Am I communicating or not my co-couples? Why is this so?. Mainly because you still don’t understand the meaning of being a couple. In my point of view, a couple is two people joined together for one reason and that is love, isn’t it?. If she/he is your true love then you are willing to draw down your sword and willing to give and compromise. `You are willing to listen attentively and understand and talk passionately.
Why Speak ?.
It is important to tell your spouse what you felt about something whether it is good or bad, happy or sad. Doing this will help your spouse/partner to know you better. Speak up more when you are happy, share how joyful you are. In this manner, positivity will be present in your relationship.
When not to speak?
Do not open your mouth when you are very angry or else trouble will come along. Do not speak if you think it is hurtful or degrading to your spouse or partner. Refrain from speaking if she/he tell you not to speak.
Mastering the art of listening is geared towards the path of a more beautiful relationship. Listening and understanding convey honor and respect. It gives a sense of worth to yourself and your partner or spouse. It both gives you clear directions on what to do in your relationship. The best way of listening is to listen from the heart.
This involves your intimate feeling/relationship with your spouse or partner. Interestingly, there is something magical happening if the couple is procreating or in a simple term, having sex. It gets you high every time you do it, and out of this world, cloud nine experience. I remember a funny story about a man who is so preoccupied with sex that while filling up an application form for a job, he answered “every day” when he comes across a question about his sex or in another term his gender identity. True story or not, the truth is, it is a beautiful gift from God that we have to delicately practice. We can compare it to a field of crafts, if properly watered, it will grow and flourish but if you put less or too much, it will just wither and die. To all the couple out there, let’s be thankful to God and celebrate this beautiful gift to us. Do not experiment on it or make it taboo or dirty in the eyes of God.
We cannot do it alone. We need help and divine interventions. There’s a lot of temptations around the corner that will try to destroy your happy relationship. Keep on praying together and ask for deliverance from hatred and unfaithfulness. Keep watching each other in prayer, not in each other’s status in social media. Faithfulness in God will teach you to TRUST and be FAITHFUL to your spouse.
Kind and encouraging words are all we need to know that we are loved and cared for. Words of affirmation from someone you love who appreciates all your hard work and efforts. Remembering red-letter dates and some surprise gifts will do the trick to affirm that you are “with someone whom you love and love you back”. Words like THANK YOU, SORRY and I LOVE YOU should be the most used words in your entire relationship. Never forget to caress and hold each other, the warmth of your hands affirms your warm love and affection to your spouse.
I will end this post by reminding you of a marriage vows. “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy law, in the presence of God I make this vow”.